Banana Cream Pie Cookies

              Every one of us has a secret weapon. Some people have a cute smile, others have gorgeous shoes. Let's not forget about those people who can make a perfect strawberry daiquiri, they may just be my favorite. Although your guitar playing is impressive and may get you laid, nothing quite beats my "Banana Cream Pie Cookies". This dessert may just be the card up my sleeve when it comes to charming my boyfriend.I found this recipe awhile back and have been waiting to use it for when I  accidentally walk in front of him while he's playing a video game or some other tragedy. However, something magical happened, and I decided to be a good girlfriend and bake these "just because". That's ok, I'll quietly wait here for an applause or a jaw drop.
               Anyways, back to the main event. These tiny cookies pack a bigger punch than Muhammad Ali. So much banana flavor in such a little dessert. If you have anybody in your life that enjoys bananas as much as Elvis Presley or my boyfriend-you must make these! As always they require practically zero skill, and thanks to the genius who invented instant pudding, these cookies are extremely soft. You really can't go wrong with this recipe. As the ever-so-classy Gwen Stefani once said: "This sh__ is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S".

"Banana Cream Pie Cookies"

Ingredients:

• 1 c. unsalted butter, room temperature
• 3/4 c. brown sugar
• 1/4 c. sugar
• 3.4oz packet of banana cream instant pudding mix
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 2 1/2 c. flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 c. chopped vanilla wafers (I would say these are optional)
• 1 1/2 c. white chocolate chips

Directions:  

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease cookie sheets
2. Using a mixer, beat together butter and both sugars until creamy. Add in pudding mix, eggs and vanilla
3. In a separate bowl, whisk flour, baking soda, and salt together
4. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir in vanilla wafers and chocolate chips. 
5. Drop cookies onto sheets and lightly press flat (I used the bottom of a glass). 
6. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove when slightly golden brown
7. Let cool completely before storing

               There you have it, folks. This recipe is practically the "Cheater's Guide to Banana Cream Pie". Why spend hours on something when there is a more simply way to do it? And that's why I'm an American. I want to thank Two Peas & Their Pod for this brilliant recipe and for reminding me that I will never be a good housewife. I hope that you enjoy these cookies as much as my boyfriend. Then again, if it looks good, tastes good, and is blonde...the men are sure to love it.

               Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 16
               I declare this recipe a: relationship lifesaver almost as wonderful as lube

Cinnamon Roll Cake

  
             When you're 23 and still living with your parents, not many things that happen at home are enjoyable. Perhaps the most tiresome habit is when my "Middle-aged roommates" ask unnecessary and redundant questions. "What does this only button on my iPhone do again?", "What time did you say you would be home after your 3 hour class?", "How do I send this as an email attachment?", "Wait, how do I send this document in an email?", "What's this paperclip next to my email message? Ohh that's an attachment...", "Are you hungover? How much did you drink, who drove, what car, from where, whose house, what bar, did you dance, what color were the walls, who's in your bedroom?". Yadda yadda yadda. My parents should get shirts that say "The questions we ask our children are as endless as the love we have for them". Amidst the chaotic game of "20 Questions", also known as my life with Mom and Dad, there is peace in Sunday brunch. And the best thing about breakfast: cinnamon rolls. Something about the taste of cinnamon and cream cheese frosting has my mom completely speechless. The silence may be more comforting than the actual taste of the delicious pastries. However, cinnamon rolls can be too time consuming. Also, if you're like me, you can't even get yourself to open one of those exploding bombs known as Pilsbury Cinnamon Roll canisters. Fear and suffer no more my readers, there is a simple solution. Cinnamon Roll Cake. This cake takes under 30 minutes, is even more delectable than an actual Cinnabon (I mean it, too), and could feed your family plus the neighborhood children who seem to linger around for breakfast...and dinner. I suggest that you make this cake ASAP. When was the last time you were able to just sit at the table and hear the sounds of utensils clacking against plates and your husband's stomach growling loud enough to wake up your teenage boys? Bake this cake and I guarantee it will be this morning.

"Cinnamon Roll Cake"

Ingredients:
Cake:

• 3 cups flour
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 tsp. baking powder
• 1 1/2 cup milk
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter, melted

Topping: 

• 1 cup butter, room temperature
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 Tbsp. brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp. cinnamon

Glaze:

• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 5 Tbsp. milk
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract 

Directions: 

1. Lightly grease a 9x13 in. pan and preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. For cake, mix together all ingredients *except for the melted butter*
3. Once those ingredients are mixed properly, slowly stir in the melted butter 
4. Add cake mix to greased pan 
5. Prepare topping by mixing all  ingredients until well blended together
6. Drop topping onto the cake mix and swirl back-and-forth with a knife
7. Bake in oven for 28-32 minutes, or until a knife comes out clean in the middle
8. Remove from oven and let cool 5 minutes
9. While cake is cooling prepare glaze by whisking together ingredients in medium sized bowl
10. Pour glaze on top of warm cake
11. Eat the entire thing

             
            Ok, cmon'. Was that not the most simple recipe you've read in awhile? Leave the days of trudging to the mall for an overpriced cinnamon roll behind you! Besides, is it really worth the trouble to battle through groups of pre-teen boys and girls? The smell of puberty is too much for any sane individual. I mean, hello nostalgia and its horrible twin sibling, regret. (I know what you're thinking but those straight-across bangs did NOT hide your acne). Save yourself the trouble and relax at home with this delicious cake. Who knows, perhaps you may even have a moment of that sweet peace-and-quiet.
            Thank you very much, Just a Pinch. You may have saved Sundays for me and many other individuals. You're simply the best!

            Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 15
            I  declare this recipe a: simple task for even the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz
            

Cheesecake Fruit Dip

            It's safe to say that I have been dreading this moment more than I have been dreading when all of my friends start to get engaged. I have finally made something "low-fat". And you know what, it's not even that healthy for you. I swear I could hear every little fat child in the grocery store screaming at me for buying the "Lite" version of Cool Whip. Surprisingly, though, this dip is delicious! I had to physically restrain myself from eating it with every meal. (Side note: it does NOT go with Chicken Parmesan). Ahhhh, now what to dunk in this miniature bowl of heaven? Well, I'd start with apples, strawberries, blueberries, pineapple, raspberries, and blackberries. Actually, it pretty much goes with anything you can grab out of the Chiquita Banana Lady's hat. And if fruit is not your favorite, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from just using a spoon. Well, perhaps your personal trainer.

"Cheesecake Fruit Dip"

Ingredients:

•  8 oz. low-fat cream cheese, room temperature
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 container marshmallow fluff
• 1 tub Lite Cool Whip
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Beat cream cheese with sugar and vanilla extract until creamy
2. Fold in Cool Whip and marshmallow fluff
3. Set in bowl and allow to cool in refrigerator

        

              
         Talk about a simple recipe! Short and sweet, just like this blog post. Now I'm off to do something more important, and by "more important" I mean eat Cheetos on my couch and watch Arrested Development. Thank you to Lil Luna for posting this recipe on Pinterest! Besides my IKEA TV stand for $25, this recipe was one of my better finds in life. Also, if we're being honest, this dip will probably last a little longer than that piece of furniture. Keep it classy, readers.

                  Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 14
                  I declare this recipe a: reason to double dip. It's ok, I promise no one is watching.

Coconut Cream Cheesecake. (Say that 5 times fast)

   
             I think I now understand why The Cheesecake Factory charges a mini fortune for their desserts; it's because you practically need your doctorate to bake one. For those of you who make these delicacies on the regular, you can feel free to sit in the corner because I'm jealous of your talent. This recipe took my cheesecake virginity, and it was probably just as painful, messy, and disastrous as an actual "first time". When I took the cheesecake out of the oven I was appalled. How could something you worked so hard to make turn out to be a pathetic mess? However, it wasn't until I cleaned the dessert up a little bit that I actually grew to love it. I think I now understand childbirth.
            This cheesecake recipe is not for the novice baker, as I quickly learned. I swore more in the kitchen baking this cheesecake than I usually do on the highway sitting in Chicago traffic during rush-hour. Yes, that much. Although it was troublesome to bake this bastard, man did it taste amazing! Very rich and creamy, with a tropical burst of toasted coconut. It tastes just like being at a Jimmy Buffet concert, but without the half-dressed, middle-aged men. I won't lie, this cheesecake was a little pricey to make and I didn't have many ingredients on hand, but I figured I might as well be a little classy and give it a try. This isn't your average "I'm making a cheesecake because I'm fat, drunk, and sad" kind of dessert, oh no. This baby takes time, money, patience, and a big glass of wine.

"Coconut Cream Pie Cheesecake"

Ingredients: 

• 2 1/2 c. flaked coconut
• 1 c. whipping cream, scalded
• 3 c. all-purpose flour
• 1/3 c. cold butter, cut into slices
• 4 tsp. sugar
• 20 oz. cream cheese
• 1 1/2 c. sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 egg yolks
• 2 1/2 Tbls. coconut liqueur (I used Malibu rum)
• 1 tsp. lemon juice
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp. almond extract
• 1 c. sour cream
• 1/4 tsp. cream of coconut
• 1/2 tsp. coconut liqueur (again, I used Malibu)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees 
2. Puree coconut and whipping cream in blender, set aside
3. Cut butter and mix with flour and 4 teaspoons of sugar, should resemble a "crumb" consistency
4. Line crumb crust in spring form pan and bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown
5. While crust is baking, cream together cream cheese and sugar
6. Stir the pureed whipping cream/coconut mixture into the creamed cheese and sugar
7. Slowly stir in eggs and egg yolks
8. Next, add the extracts and coconut liqueur
9. Pour mixture into baked crust
10. Bake cheesecake for about 1 hr, or until sides are dry and center is set
11. Allow cheesecake to cool for about 30 minutes
12. Beat together sour cream, cream of coconut, and 1/2 tsp. coconut liqueur and spread over cheesecake (I didn't do this step because I did not have cream of coconut and that stuff is EXPENSIVE. Or at least for a student in graduate school it is)
13. Garnish with toasted coconut if desired
14. Store in refrigerator 

               I'm not going to lie to you guys, as I said, this cheesecake took a lot of effort and really wasn't aesthetically appealing. Let's just say that if this cheesecake were a first date, you'd want to put a bag over its head before you went out (or stayed in). Luckily, I've watched enough Extreme Makeover shows to understand that with a little elbow grease and a lot of tears, you can turn something truly ugly into a beautiful, rich masterpiece. The only thing that was missing was the incredibly hot, but douchey, TV host...Ty Pennington.
               As always, I am not a food wizard, so a shout-out is in order. This post's saving grace is none other than Food.com. With a webhost name like that, how could you go wrong? Thanks readers, and go enjoy some creamy, "coco-nutty" deliciousness.

              Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 13
              I declare this recipe a: great way to use up old Malibu Rum from that one Spring Break where you met that bartender named Carlos...

America: Home of Fat. I mean Free.

              So I'm over a month late. Thankfully, this is the only time I've ever said that. It's not like I wanted to put my blog in the corner, but I felt that ignoring school work, out-of-control bills, a boyfriend, and of course my Facebook profile, was just too much for any "Generation Y" young adult to handle. Man, where to begin. First off, I can't even remember the Fourth of July, and that's not because it was a long time ago but rather because I indulged a little too much that weekend. Some culprits for my alcohol induced amnesia were these delicious, festive Jell-O shots. Never-mind the trough of gin I consumed, it was these little guys that set me over the edge. They made a bigger "bang" at the party than all of the fireworks and my slutty friend combined! You need to write down this recipe. You can even mix up the colors for other festivities that include but are not limited to: holidays/football games/birthdays/baptisms/Kwanza/just for yourself after a long week of hell, sorry I mean work/etc. So what are you waiting for? These shots won't make themselves.

"Red, White, and Booze Jell-O Shots"

Ingredients

• 1 c. boiling water, divided into 2 containers
• 1 package (3 oz.) Jell-O Berry Blue
• 1 package (3 oz.) Jell-O Cherry 
• 1 envelope KNOX Unflavored Gelatine
• 1 cup milk, divided
• 3 Tbsp. sugar
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 20 maraschino cherries with stems
• Shot glass cups (24)
• 1 c. vodka (1/2 for Jell-O and other 1/2 for cherries)

Directions
(Before beginning, take maraschino cherries and place in medium bowl with 1/2 c. vodka [or more if you're a frat boy]. Cover tightly and refrigerate for at least 2 hours)

1. Lightly spray cups with Pam (optional, but suggested unless you want to piss off your guests)
2. Put Cherry and Berry gelatin powder into medium sized bowls
3. Add 1/2 c. boiling water to each of the two bowls.
4. Stir 1/4 c. vodka into each of the bowls
5. Meanwhile, bring milk to boil in a saucepan. Once hot, add unflavored gelatin envelope, sugar, and vanilla extract
6. Spoon Berry Jell-O (about 2 tsp.) into bottom of all shot glasses. Refrigerate 15 minutes
7. Repeat with the other Jell-O mixes, refrigerating 15 minutes in between new additions
8.  Before adding the final Cherry layer, place one vodka soaked maraschino cherry into the "White" layer and refrigerate for another 2 minutes. 
9. Top each shot glass cup with Cherry gelatin and refrigerate shot glasses full of Jell-O until ready to serve.

           I can promise you that you will thank yourself for making these Jell-O shots for a party, and I can also promise you that you will feel a little hungover if you eat too many. These aren't those weak Jell-O shorts that you tried to make for a high school homecoming dance many, many years ago. Thank God. For this marvelous recipe, originally thank At The Picket Fence. She knows her stuff.

       And just like depression, nothing complements a holiday more than cake. Thankfully, my Fourth of July was filled with it (Cake, not depression. Although it was tempting after seeing my skinny, modelesque neighbors sunning themselves all weekend long). Anyways, I apologize but I'm too lazy at the moment to list out the entire recipe. As you've probably guessed from the majority of my posts, "Sloth" is my favorite of the deadly sins.
      For the cake: simply, I just split up my white cake mix into three bowls and added food coloring to each. Then, I layered the mixes in my cake pan, baked the sucker, and drizzled the top with different colored frosting. Finally, sprinkles. BOOM. Quick and cheap. Kind of like my last boyfriend, except I'm not embarrassed to bring this cake to social gatherings. Until next time, which hopefully won't be another month. Enjoy readers!



              Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 12
              I declare this recipe a: GREAT way for you to bond with your children