It's that time of year again. Pumpkins, haunted houses, scary movies, monsters, teen girls shopping for underwear (Sorry, I mean Halloween costumes), candy, etc. Ask any man and they'd tell you this season is like a second Christmas. However, being a female with "A cups" and less of an ass than
Miley Cyrus, it's safe to say that I prefer even Flag Day over Halloween. It's true; I was never one to get hyped about Halloween, except for that one time in fifth grade when I couldn't decide if I should be a ballerina, witch, or Nelly. However, the one thing I do enjoy about this holiday is that no one can say a damn thing about how much sugar you're ingesting. Diabetics, rejoice! I had a whole list of different Halloween-themed desserts to recreate, but just like everything else in my life, I gave up on it. One recipe did seem to make the cut- these
Halloween-Swirl Cookies. They look absolutely professional but in reality are fairly easy. Seriously, if you want to impress people with food, look no further! Need a new boyfriend? Forget the slutty dress and just show up with a box of these on the first date. Need a new job? Forget the slutty dress (or resume?) and bring in these little guys to the interview...Actually, don't do that. Jobs are hard to come by.
"Swirl Sugar Cookies"
Ingredients:
- 1 1/2 c. butter, softened
- 2 1/2 c. sugar
- 4 eggs
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- 5 c. flour
- 2 tsp. baking powder
- 1 tsp. salt
- gel food coloring of choice
- parchment paper
- sprinkles of choice
Directions:
For sugar cookies: In large bowl, cream butter and sugar together till creamy. Beat in vanilla and eggs until smooth. Stir in flour, baking powder, and salt. Cover and chill dough for at least an hour or overnight.
For decoration:
- Take dough and divide into 3 or 4 large balls (depending on how many colors you will be using).
- Make a well into each large ball and add a pool of specific gel food coloring (I used purple, orange, and green). Fold balls until each dough is the desired color.
- Next, break down larger dough balls into small, grape sized balls and lay on parchment paper.
- Take one of each colored grape sized ball and roll together to make a larger ball. The final product will resemble a beach ball.
- "Log roll" cookies on parchment paper so that they are long and skinny. Play with log of dough by twisting and rolling so that you get all color to show.
- Coil the cookies by taking one end and wrapping it in towards the other. If one end is fatter, start with that end. Once coiled, pinch the free end to the ridge of the cookie so it is a closed system.
- Lightly spray cooking oil on baking sheets
- Before baking, take coiled cookies and roll edges in sprinkles or sugar. Heck, get crazy and do both.
- If dough ever gets too warm, stick in the freezer for 1-2 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
- Bake cookies for 6-9 minutes. It may be difficult to tell if cookies are done because of the dye, so it may be helpful to let them bake for another minute.
- Let cookies cool for a few minutes
- Store in an airtight container and allow people to drool and stare in awe.
- Makes about 5 dozen cookies
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Although these cookies are simple, they take longer to finish than a frat boy after Tequila Night. Although they're time consuming, I promise these will be the talk of the Halloween party! Amidst the horrible Duck Dynasty and scantily made animal costumes, these cookies will stand out like that guy who showed up in the "
I don't do Halloween" shirt. As for me, I will be spending Halloween studying for my exams, watching Hocus Pocus for the sixth time (this week..), and scoping out the hot dads who are accompanying their kids Trick-O-Treating. Thanks again to
Make, Bake, Celebrate for coming up with this original recipe. Woman like you make the rest of us embarrassed to be alive. You're an inspiration.
Number of Pinterest recipes completed: 18
I declare this recipe a: wonderful alternative to the healthy crap people are trying to force-feed their children this Halloween
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